Emotions are often held within our bodies. So the body is a great place to start in order to tap into our emotions and help us self-regulate. Have you ever had the hairs on the back of your neck stand up? Or had goosebumps? Or maybe your stomach turns at a certain smell. These are just a few examples of the ways our bodies communicate needs before our minds even know them.
You may be thinking, "But it’s obvious that when my neck hairs go up, I feel creeped out or scared." Or "of course goosebumps mean I’m cold." Or "I’ve never liked asparagus, so I’m not surprised when my stomach turns at the smell or sight of it!" But keep in mind, at one point, you didn’t know these things. By paying attention to your body, you’ve learned over time what these sensations mean to you. Thereby finding out what you need—or don’t need.
How to Access Our Emotions
Body check-ins can be valuable at any time, but especially as a way to access our emotions and, therefore, our needs. You can practice right now to find which emotions might be present by taking the following steps:
- Notice your breathing: Is it rapid or slow? Are your breaths ending in the higher rib area, or are they deeper belly breaths?
- Notice your body:
- Is your heart rate rapid, normal, or slow? (Fitbits, smartwatches, or pulse oximeters are helpful with this information).
- Is there tension in your body? Maybe in your gut, chest, neck, or jaw? Are your fists clenched or shoulders tensed up to your ears?
- Take a temperature check. Are you hot or cold? Sweating or with clammy palms? Perhaps your mouth feels dry.
- How is your eyesight? Has it narrowed to tunnel vision—a common sign of anxiety?
- How is your hearing? Have you tuned out the surroundings or become extra aware of all sounds?
- What’s your energy level? Do you feel heavy and fatigued (often tied with depression), or is there a rush of adrenaline from anxiety or fear? Perhaps your body feels sluggish, jittery, or skittish.
The Power of Paying Attention
The goal here is simply to notice. It might feel "unproductive" or "unhelpful" to observe how our emotions show up in our bodies, but in fact, a lot is happening. Body check-ins slow us down, remind us to breathe, and help us gauge how to respond to sensations. These sensations aren’t something to "fix" but to honor and understand.
By doing this, we validate our experience with our bodies and the emotions that arise. If we continually "stuff down" these feelings, they tend to manifest in other ways—like breaking down, blowing up, or getting sick due to stress lowering our immune function).
What’s Next?
Sit with what shows up. Embrace the emotions that arise. You might even greet them in a way that feels authentic. For me, it’s like saying, "Hi, anxiety. I know you’re there in my chest." By noticing, we can interact with our inner experience.
Just as we know we need water from a dehydration headache, we can learn to figure out that we need to call a friend when feeling discouraged. Or maybe, after a big weekend socializing, we need some quiet time alone.
Another important aspect of this process is trying your best to encounter emotions without judgment. Instead of saying, "I hate feeling this way; I’m such a wimp," try "This is really uncomfortable or scary for me… and I feel it in my gut."
Imagining emotions as small children needing care can help us access compassion for them. They are crying for help—help we can provide with time, practice, and perhaps some support.
Our bodies have so much to tell us if we choose to listen to them. What is your body telling you?
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