What are emotions?

Emotions are part of the human experience. In fact, emotion is defined as “a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.” They’ve been around as long as we have because they’re important for our survival. For instance, they promote connection with others, a basic human need in order to survive and even lengthen our lifespans.

Emotions protect us from harm by helping us leave environments that scare us. We cry or laugh to physically release tension and connect with others through shared experiences. By listening to them and responding to their needs, we can even decrease our stress, boost our immune systems, and therefore improve our physical health in many ways.

How can they help us?

Though views around mental health are changing, societal stigma around emotions still exists. They are often viewed as “weak,” “inconvenient,” or “impractical.” These views can be harmful, causing disconnection and despair. When we deny our own experience, we deny the opportunity to grow and connect with ourselves and others. One way to combat this stigma is by furthering our understanding of our emotions. And to do that, we can start by naming them.

What are they trying to tell us?

Each emotion serves a purpose, but overall, they are trying to tell us that we need something. Here's a list of some emotions and the needs they might communicate:

• Confused: I need more information.
• Anxious/scared: I need safety, support, or more information.
• Sad: I need support or space; I miss or long for someone or something.
• Mad: I need to vent, express myself, or have space.
• Helpless: I need to know I matter and understand how I contribute.
• Hopeless: I need to know there’s a purpose for me.
• Lonely: I need community and/or connection.
• Frustrated or irritated: I need help or clarity on how to do something and know I can complete the task.
• Panic: I need to leave or find space or reassurance.

This list is, of course, limited, and a feelings wheel can be helpful in building a richer emotional vocabulary. You may also notice that emotions can require opposite needs, like connection or space. This is where your self-awareness comes in — by exploring the sensations your emotions bring, you can understand what you need at that moment.

What are they telling you?

This guide offers examples of what emotions might tell us, but it’s essential to explore what your emotions are telling you. We all encounter emotions, but how we experience them and the needs they trigger are unique to each of us. These may change depending on the circumstances or even something as simple as whether or not you’ve eaten in the last four hours!

The goal is to continuously get to know our emotions. By receiving our feelings in an open and curious way, we can build a relationship where we trust and rely on what they’re communicating to us. This isn’t easy, but by reading this far, you’re already well on your way. Having an outside perspective, like a therapist, can be extremely valuable as you get to know yourself and what you need.

If we can access and support our own emotions, how might this affect how we show up for and lean on others? It starts with ourselves: the gift of acceptance of the very normal, natural, and human experience of emotions.

References

1. Cured: Strengthen Your Immune System and Heal Your Life: Rediger M.D., Jeffrey: 9781250193193: Amazon.com: Books. (2022). Retrieved August 25, 2022, from Amazon.com website: Cured on Amazon.

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