Everyday Frustrations
We live in a world with a constant stream of stimulation. It’s easy to lose track of how often we experience various stressors that show up on a daily—sometimes hourly—basis.
Whether it’s from a podcast, the radio, the news, interactions with others, parenting, work stress, or driving, these constant sources of frustration can overwhelm us. Without paying attention to our responses, we risk feeling consistently overwhelmed or anxious. Both of these can have jarring side effects on our moods and bodies over time.
A metaphor that comes to mind: it’s like being poked over and over in the same spot until a bruise forms. Once bruised, it becomes tender, more reactive—even to light touches. When we’re emotionally wounded, we are extra vulnerable and defensive in an effort to protect ourselves. This makes minor annoyances compound quickly, affecting both our mental and physical health.
The Cortisol Conundrum
When we experience stress, cortisol is released. While cortisol is a necessary hormone, prolonged exposure can have negative effects. Chronic stress, where cortisol remains high, can contribute to increased blood pressure, diabetes, and decreased immunity, among other risks.
Stress operates on a spectrum, but once activated—such as during fight, flight, or freeze responses—it takes at least 20 minutes for cortisol levels to return to normal. This process only happens if we take steps to self-soothe. Without soothing, cortisol may not return to baseline and can even remain elevated, especially if new stressors occur back-to-back.
The good news is that we can shift our tolerance to stress, which can increase our immunity and even lengthen our lifespan.
Self-Soothing Strategies
Self-soothing is essential to completing the stress cycle and building better habits for managing everyday stress. Here are some effective tactics to consider:
- Progressive muscle relaxation
- Breathing slowly: Inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 7 seconds
- Yoga
- Petting your pet
- Mindfulness
- Let yourself cry: A deep, sobbing cry can be very therapeutic
- Meditation
- Exercise: Walking, running, dancing—anything that gets you moving
- Play a game for fun and relaxation
- Laugh: Watch a funny video or ask a friend for a joke
- Read
- Practice gratitude
- Engage in a creative outlet: Drawing, painting, pottery, etc.
Another calming technique that has been shown to help with depression, anxiety, phobias, and PTSD is the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), or Tapping. This involves lightly tapping on nine acupoints on the body, such as the collarbone and cheekbones, while repeating a mantra like, “I am anxious, but I am safe and loved.”
Basic Needs
Our basic needs can greatly affect how we handle stressors. Ask yourself:
- Are you getting enough quality sleep?
- Are there activities that could be delegated or reduced?
- Are you eating nutrient-rich foods that sustain your energy?
- Have you had enough water?
- How much caffeine are you consuming?
These simple factors can impact your mood and reactivity. Checking in on your own quality of life and making small adjustments can set you up for better health and happiness.
